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I had a bad weekend, some really bad spells and one night with teh worst kind of nausea, was convinced I would hurl, managed to stop it by keeping still and doing the hypnotherapy. Same happened again last night, managed to stop it during the night but not this morning.

I don't really know who I'm writign this for. It's easier to write than read because I look at the keyboard and not the screen (hence typos). I guess I'm writing it for myself, really. I'm also telling people who want to know how I am, so I don't have to answer emails and they can come here to check up on me. But it's not exactly going to be fun reading. Who the hell wants to read endless descriptions of different types of nuasea and exactly how many times I threw up this week??

My life is strange at the mo. I had a good day yesterday, didn't feel very nauseous, even got bored watching daytime telly. I only get bored when I'm not feeling ill, which is getting increasingly rare. And then I started feeling guilty. I've cancelled all commitments, told everyone I'm too ill to do anything, and yet there I was yesterday feeling all right. I felt like a fraud. But anyway, as I was feeling better I picked my son up from school AND walked the dogs AND went to the supermarket. Big mistake. It was when I got back from the supermarket (which we live next door to and I only bought three things, but the queue was excruciatingly long - it's Netto, home of the impoverished, and there are never enough checkout staff) that I had the bad spell and could do nothing except lie down in the dark and listen to music. But at least I felt exonerated. I AM ill.

I can't do much. Have spent too long at the computer now, will pay for this later. Need to go and eat.

I can't do anything at all without eating first. I have to plan everything caefully, even a trip into the kitchen to make a drink, which can be exhausintg. Have to make sure I eat first, or it'll make me nauseous. Do something small, eat something. Do something small again. And eating takes forever, and the range of things I can stomach is limited, and I can't cook cos it's too exhausintg, and I'm getting so sick of eating the same things over and over and having to eat every hour. I can't eat fruit any more. I think I may as well cancel our organic box veg delivery for a while, as there's a minimum order size and I'm only eating a small proportion of it, so fresh food is wasted and I have no income so it's money wasted as well.

I've started doing jigsaws, to distract me. I borrowed a games console from a friend but eurgh, all those games make me feel ill. I want something visually simple but mind-taxing and time-consuming, like the "Boxxle" game I used to have for my Gameboy. I may still have it, but don't know where and don't have the energy to look for it.

Oh arse, feeling ill again. Better go eat.