One or t'Other

I've been feeling a bit better the last few days. I didn't even eat any midnight bread last night. Inevitably I felt ill this morning, but not as much as I normally would.

It ought to be a cause for celebration, but I have a scan tomorrow. I can't help wondering, if the relief of sickness is due to hormones leaving my system, whhich in turn might be due to a problem with the foetus.

I know I know, I'm a born worrier.

I'm glad they've given me such an early scan, as it means these worries will be addressed sooner rather than later. Chances are it's good news. After all, even when I was in the depths of HG, I would have breaks between episodes when I felt fine. More fine than I do now, in fact. I've no real reason to believe there's anything wrong.

I suspect tomorrow will be pretty nerve-wracking though. All that sitting around in waiting rooms.

When I had my 12-week scan when I was pregnant first time round, I didn't even contemplate a problem with the foetus. I assumed it would be fine, and it was. I didn't care much though, to be honest. I was too busy trying not to throw up. I failed. That pressure on the abdomen, when they prod you with the scanning thing? It was too much. I threw up over the side of the trolley. Luckily I'd brough a plastic bag with me, just in case. They showed me the photo, but I wasn't very interested. Yes, I thought. I'm pregnant. I already knew that.

If it's bas news tomorrow, I don't think I can go through this again. I'm too old, the potential gap between my children will be too big, and fears of hyperemesis and miscarriage will become too overwhelming. But the thought of leaving my son an only child...

Ah well, that's all silly talk. I'm pregnant, for heaven's sake. And that's good news.